Life is full of twists and turns, its been months since I last heard from her. Life has not been the same. Someone inside you feels betrayed. What happened to the love that we shared, what was lacking in the years we spent together. Sharing each others good times and bad times. Being with each other and pushing each other not to fall when either of us was down. It feels so nice to be able to share your space, your feelings with someone. Marriage really helps you to connect with the other person deep down to a very emotional level.
They say marriage is like two soul's becoming one. That’s how marriage really is, it connects you to each other so deeply that you sometimes feel that the other person knows you more than you know yourself. But what do you do when the other person gets disconnected somehow. Do you try and build that love again or do you just let him/her go and if they come back they were yours and if not then they never were. It’s easy to say, but when it happens to you then you have to decide on your own. There is a lot of ego that comes into play. Then lots of people give you advice, what to do what not to do and you are finally left confused. As that time won’t come back. So you have to decide and think on your own. Was I really happy in that relationship? Was it only me who was giving and didn’t realize that the other side lacked that much interest? If it happens again and again in the five years that we spent together, then you have an idea that It just wasn’t working out.
You try and analyze, firstly you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If I was her, why would I do such a thing. Would I have been angry had my husband reacted in this way? What would be going in my mind. Is playing a blame game the easier option. So when blame game comes in a relationship that means that outsiders opinions are becoming more important for you. You are being guided by what other's are saying, and not making your own decision.
I then thought it was over. At this time, the only thoughts that came to my mind that why only me. But its not true, we all go through these ups and downs and emotional turmoil’s in life.
We want someone to be there to listen to us, understand how we feel and at this time if your family is not there to support then you can be doomed into the world of depression.
I also realized that I was becoming more and more irritated. The fact that I was alone was really hurting me so it is important to get used to this new phase of my life.
I decided to find myself and move to a much better space. I didn’t want to be like this and show myself that I was being affected by something that wasn’t meant to be mine. I was an individual and I had my own identity.
It was very important to find myself and do what I really wanted to do.
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