In conversation

“Well whaddayaknow! You made it kid… I… Fantastic… congratulations!”
“Thank you, thank you! And I wanted to come here and tell you that this would not have been possible without
you!”
“Really? You think?”
“Yes… I learnt nothing in class. Actually it was all the Sundays that I spent here that got me this… So, thank you!”
He stretched out his hand and getting on to the cue, she walked right into him and clawed him all around. Sitting
on his stool, hugging her, he felt nice. Nice about the fact that he had apparently been able to help someone with
something in their life and also about the fact that she was actually there to acknowledge it. Perhaps that made the
whole situation even better.
“It isn’t just the Sundays you know…”
“Hmmm?”
“It wasn’t just the Sundays that got you here…”
“Oh no, I know that… I got it from just spending time with you. It went way beyond the books.”
“Ya, I know… It was more than every day here… You officially live here more than you live at your own house.”
She pushed him away, but he caught her smiling.
“Shut up, asshole!”
“But I love you baby… And I am proud of you!”
And the smile disappeared. Completely. And she even came off as being a little nervous. Not nicely nervous, it was
the bad phase of the emotion. She looked unsure about her surroundings, even tried to pull her hands around
herself, not knowing what else she could do with them. He could sense it. He could sense that she had something
on her mind, only he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to hear it or not.
“Ok, why the snake eyes sweetie?”
“What did you just say?”
He was as blank on hearing that as the expression that followed.
“Huh? I just said that I’m very proud of you…”
“No, the other thing…”
“Congratulations?”
“Stop hedging…”
“Ok… why don’t you tell me what I said and I’ll work backwards from there?”
“You said… you love me?”
“Yes, I do… But I thought you already knew that by now…”
“Are you serious?”
“What’s the fuss? Why keep asking me that?”
“This isn’t a joke…”
Clearly it wasn’t because he was sure as hell missing the punchline. It was all flying over his head. He couldn’t
understand what she was getting at. Why, all he said was that he was proud of her and that he loved her even
more… That had to be it. It was clear now. Though as clear as mud.
“It’s the ‘I love you’ part which has caught your fancy?”
“Yes… Why say that at all… What you and I have is something so very special… why would you want to ruin it
like that?”
“You know, you answered your question and yet have no clue about it.”
“What?”
“Guess so… you just said what we had was special right. And that clearly is not cause enough for me to say that I
love you? Or it could even be vice versa you know…”
“But it’s not like that between you and me…”
“Not like what… Oh, oh, oh… I get it now… You think I meant it in that sense?”
“How many senses are there?”
“Jesus! Jingles… You do realize that there are other forms of love too in this world, right?”
“Yes… but why would you tell me that? You’re not my father or my brother, or an uncle, or anything of that
sort…”
“Baby, I think I am all of those in a package.. But no, it’s not quite that. Am I not your friend?”
“Of course you are…”
“And that’s how I love you… as a friend!”
“That doesn’t happen.”
“So you don’t love any of your girlfriends?”
“Huh?”
“Friends who are girls…”
“Yes, sure… there is Hina and Gagan and…”
“… yeah sure… so you love them, right?”
“Of course I do…”
“So you are a lesbian?”
“What?”
“So why can’t that apply to you and me then?”
It was evident that something was making more sense to her now. It was weird though. No guy ever told her that he
loved her and not mean getting into her pants. It was like the yearly ritual. All the guys through school and even
college, all of them wanted to cuddle. But it was only time that amplified the true nature of the cuddling. It was
after sex. And she wasn’t the one who wanted that kind of a guy around her.
But here was a chap saying that he loved her and not mean it in that sense. A guy she felt so very safe around, in
thought even.
“Ok, I get it… like your ‘virgin’ and ‘ejaculation’ things… It’s cool and yes, I love you too. More than you can
think!”
“My, how inappropriate!”
“Shut up!”
He opened his arms out once again and this time she walked right in with the smile intact. He grabbed her tightly
towards himself, wishing that time would just stand still completely. And he could hold on to her forever. It was
after a long time that he had such companionship. That he had someone who he could really call his friend.

Excerpts from an unpublished novel

It was Sunday, but it was also final exam week. And while her home would have definitely been a more quieter place
to study and focus on things, she had still decided to come over to the floor above and study at his house. And the
only reason behind this was not breakfast. It was also the fact that his encyclopedic knowledge of English literature
served as a ready-reckoner whenever she needed one.
“That’ll do… and also help! And not a moral lecture. Helping me learn something is not the same as doing my
tute.”
“It’s exam week and I’d do anything within my capability to help you get good numbers — something which I did
not get.”
“What you serious? You? Did not get something like 70 percent or something?”
“It was a big doubt on everyone’s face believe me, when they saw my poorly 48. But then again, the one who did get
the only First Div went on to do her MA, MPhil, and PhD. And is now getting married and going off to live in…
get this… Nagpur.”
“And you are excellence preserved in a human body… and on the pages of a magazine.”
“You could make it more corny by adding, ‘and in the hearts of your readers’ you know?”
She had the prettiest laugh ever. You could see all her glistening white teeth shine through the big, yet not repulsive,
crevice between her two lips and when she raised her hand to cover it as her body shook all over, all he wanted to do
was go over and hug her close to himself. And yet, he never felt anything of anything for her. It was strange,
something people went to shrinks for.
“Listen, I need help with the Lit Theory paper. You up for that?”
“Always!”
“Fine then… get on with the breakfast, and I’ll get on with the books… just hurry up.”
She tried to go over and park herself by his bed, which was basically a mattress dumped on the floor. But it was the
only one seating area in the room which was parked against the corners of the walls, allowing for sufficient backrest.
And again, technically, it was not his bed. It was like a sofa-cum-dumpster for when “people” came. But it was also
the place where he crashed. Everyday.

And since he never got around to making it decent for the “people” who came over, it was always a crumpled mess.
Normally she would run her hands through the covers and pillows to make it human again, but today there was no
time on hand to get into housekeeping. She dropped her books on one side and threw herself to the other — and
the next minute she found herself lying down on it completely, using her hands to cover her face, with her legs
crumpled all over her. She had two dogs glaring over her, their mouth in what he called a “lip smile” position,
which was the one where the four canines were clearly visible, and they had that thundering roar going on non-stop
mode from within. The third one was sitting at the other side of the bed, trying to investigate the books that had landed on her head.

He came running out of the kitchen on hearing the commotion and demanded to know what was going on.
“They were under the blankets. I had no idea!”
“Oh ya, well, they do that a lot. You should check. Pepsi, Sprite… come on, get off her. She’s sorry!”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I really didn’t know that you’ll were under there… Please…”
And the dogs pulled back. They joined Limca in the book investigation as Jigyasa pulled herself up again. She loved
the dogs and they loved her too, but what had happened right then was a little scary.
“What on earth where they doing under the blanket?”
“It’s cold… they always stay under the blanket when its cold.”
“What do you mean they always stay under the blanket?”
“They sleep with me na… so they normally don’t leave the blanket after I get up!”
“You sleep with them? Ewwww… Why?”
“Ok, no dog, no opinion… alright? And if you must know, my dogs are my life. So forget sleeping with them, I
share food, and wouldn’t even think twice if I have to eat from their dishes… you get me?”
“That’s just gross! The germs and all, don’t you mind?”
“No, I don’t. I’m telling you, they mean everything to me.”
“Why do they mean everything to you?”
“What kind of a question is that?”
“I mean, I’m sure there are other people in your life… your father, mother, siblings, other relationships… why the
dogs?”

A few words there did not seem right for him. He didn’t like it. He had not been liking it from the time that she
had started raising aspersions about his relationship with his dogs, but somehow now she had crossed the line.
Somehow.

Who is an Indian?

When our countrymen visit a developed country, say America or UK, they take to the queue culture of that country as duck takes to water. We eagerly look around for bins to dispose off waste and take utmost care not to litter the public space. The best part of all this is that we smile and even ask our children to behave well. No spitting, no littering and, of course, no urinating against the walls!
However, a quick and strange transformation takes place as soon as the plane touches down at the Indira Gandhi International airport, or elsewhere in India, and we get the familiar sights and smells of our beloved country. Most of us do not mind elbowing or shoving others to take hold of our baggage on the belt, without even saying ‘sorry.’ Soon we show our true colours and live up to the old adage: ‘While in Rome, do as the Romans do.’

Even at places where the people are decent enough to queue up, we explore all the subversive possibilities to get to the front of the serpentine queue. Oh, the agony of standing in the queue! If all else fails, then a search begins to locate an agent so that the queue could be bypassed by paying a small fee. Why is this change in our conduct as soon as we arrive in our own country? Why do we bid goodbye to the good manners that looked so wonderful in foreign countries? Why do we dump the basic etiquettes in the nearest dust bin on our arrival in India?

The answer is simple, it is in our culture. We follow the ‘chalta hai’ culture in india. If you jump a traffic light, there is always a way to ensure you don’t need to pay the fine. Rather, you bribe the traffic constable and continue to your destination. It’s a country where people are found of short cuts. There is a short cut to everything. In a country where 40% of the population is below the poverty line, and rich are getting richer and poor getting poorer , this is bound to happen.

No wonder you see an escalation in crime and burglary. Unemployment is growing and youngsters are falling prey to easy lure of money.

The basic necessities are not taken care of. We all talk of development but the government is not even committed to ensure that these basic needs of the people are met. You have neta’s who venture for overseas trips every now and then. But when it comes to replicating the learning's from their visit abroad and finding a method to the madness in their own country, they are clueless.

The whole country knows that who is corrupt, every third month the roads have to be done again, every time the bridges fall but who cares for the public.

Instead we have to pay more taxes, hike in petrol,diesel prices and more costly vegetables. They think this will cure everything and GDP will rise.

Right now the only thing rising, is an uproar, a young india is rising and soon there will be a revolution. Time has come when young india takes up the mantle and changes things.

Yes, India is the most backward nation when it comes to safety or the value of a life of a person. There are hundreds of people dying but no one cares. Not the police, not the administration. Unless there is a change, there will be loads of people leaving the country and settling abroad. And this doesn’t augur well for the country. The time has come to take the fight for our future in our own hands and make a difference. Yes, its high time we tell the people that yeh sab nahin chalta hai, and they need to change their mindset or get washed away by the tide of change.

The time is right to change the system, to change our way of thinking, we need to change the policies and the backward laws that are in place and only then we will see a change.

But Is the PM listening? (Theek hai?)

Funny One liners

Awesome one liners decoded-


Incidently, Hina khar anagrams to Hi Nakhra! (hina rabani khar -pak foreign minister)

If you want Arnab to shut up,make him the Prime minister!

Baby: a program that takes nine months to develop and a whole lifetime to debug

Innocence: the look on your face when you return home from a trip to bangkok

Arnab goswami is the only man in the universe who can see three sides of a coin.

Railway fares finally hiked. i think they were waiting to see if the world really ends in 2012.

LOC: Line of control or line of compromise

Describe delhi's winter in three words:
Mercury Mars Uranus

Arjun Tendulkar, SACHIN Tendulkar and Shahid Afridi: God, Godfather and Juvenille!

Literature festivals are usually a holy congregation of three C's
Chicks, Chic and Chicanery.

New Year resolution 2013

I have made not one but thirteen resolutions for 2013.

- Start a new venture and work for myself
- Make new friends and keep in touch with old ones
- Learn a new language
- Finish my second book and get it published this year
- Give an hour to medidate daily
- Exercise an hour a day
- Write a poem for someone I care for
- Teach someone how to read and write
- Learn a skill from someone who is less than 13 years old
- Find something to laugh about every day. Then share it.
- Watch a movie (without subtitles) in a language I do not know
- Do my bit to make a difference in society by helping an ngo
- Speak up and act when I see anyone being treated unfairly (This one is for you Nirbhaya)

Kuch nahi Badlega!

In the classic BBC political satire serial, 'Yes Minister', minister Jim Hacker asks his senior bureaucrat Sir Humphrey Appleby how to deal with a group of protestors. "Don't worry sir, just appoint a committee to examine their grievances," is the reply. "But wont that be seen as surrender," asks the worried minister. Sir Humphrey smiles: "Committees buy you time, Mr Minister, and time is on our side!" What was true of the past is no longer the case: notions of time have shrunk.

This is the age of 20-20 cricket, of fast food, of instant messaging on twitter & facebook, of 24 x 7 television, where today's news can become the next hour's history. We have a woman president, we've had a woman prime minister. Yet in 2012, one of the greatest tragedies in our country is that women are on their own when it comes to their own safety. There is currently no special law in India against sexual assault or harassment, and only vaginal penetration by a penis counts as rape. As a columnist in the national Hindustan Times said of the attack: "This is a story of a dangerous decline in Indians and India itself, of not just failing morality but disintegrating public governance when it comes to women." Samar Halarnkar added: "Men abuse women in every society, but few males do it with as much impunity, violence and regularity as the Indian male." Halarnkar then offered as proof a survey that caused indignation in India last month: a poll of 370 gender specialists around the world that voted India the worst place to be a woman out of all the G20 countries. It stung – especially as Saudi Arabia was at the second-worst. But the experts were resolute in their choice. "In India, women and girls continue to be sold as chattels, married off as young as 10, burned alive as a result of dowry-related disputes and young girls exploited and abused as domestic slave labour," said Gulshun Rehman of save the children foundation. But 45% of Indian girls are married before the age of 18, according to the International Centre for Research on Women (2010); 56,000 maternal deaths were recorded in 2010 (UN Population Fund) and research from Unicef in 2012 found that 52% of adolescent girls (and 57% of adolescent boys) think it is justifiable for a man to beat his wife. Plus crimes against women are on the increase: according to the National Crime

Records Bureau in India, there was a 7.1% hike in recorded crimes against women between 2010 and 2011 (when there were 228,650 in total). The biggest leap was in cases under the "dowry prohibition act" (up 27.7%), of kidnapping and abduction (up 19.4% year on year) and rape (up 9.2%). A preference for sons and fear of having to pay a dowry has resulted in 12 million girls being aborted over the past three decades, according to a 2011 study by the Lancet. It's also about the vacuum in the law, lack of security at leisure spots, lack of gender justice, lack of fear of the law, police and judicial apathy and the complete lack of awareness that men and women have the right to enjoy exactly the same kind of leisure activities." Our politicians can't afford to have a special session to discuss women centric issues, maybe that is one of the reason they have till date turned a blind eye to the women's reservation bill.

Last morning,I am sitting with my dad, discussing about the recent happenings in the capital and he convinces me that 'kuch nahin badlega'. It's all part of the system , he says. Its in our DNA. As long as the 543 goonda's are ruling, nothing will change in this country. Yes, i believe he is right. It really is a way of life now for people in the government and such is the plight of the common man. It's time we educate our men,change our beliefs and system. Its time for a revolution, and hope the generation X do something and change our beliefs.
And yes its time the PM realises 'Sab theek nahin hai'.